Well, its Fathers Day. Its actually Fathers Day night at this point so I will call it Fathers Night.
I spent some time with family today and I really enjoyed our conversation and our catching up on life. Our conversation covered a many things like jobs, new pets and everyday life. At one point in our talking, the adoption topic came up and we talked about where we were in the process and how it was going. We talked about things that Becky and I have talked about regarding the adoption process and we talked about how awesome it will be if we end up with a baby. While talking about raising a child, I brought up my lack of mechanical, landscaping, fishing and/or hunting skills. I joked about how the kid might need to contact a relative or a neighbor if he or she wanted to learn about building things or fixing things.
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| Phil from Modern Family (Awesome Dad) |
On my way home I thought more about who I am, what I am good at and what I can teach a son or daughter. I realized, or I should say I more clearly realized, that not all Dads are great mechanics and being a master builder isn't a requirement of being "father of the year" in any book I have ever read. In truth I haven't really read any books on "father of the year" requirements. I don't think that book exists. No one has written that book because every Dad brings something different to the table. Every Dad is as unique as the child he is raising. Every Dad was once a kid and its his life experiences that have molded him into the man he ends up being.
Our son or daughter is probably not going to get a ton of exposure to fishing. I will certainly take them out and give them an introduction to the sport. I will try to act like I know what I am doing as I make strange faces because I don't like touching worms. I will try as hard as I can to not stick a hook in my hand. Ideally, we catch something and I can hope that he/she will think our fish is the coolest thing ever. I can also hope that he/she doesn't want to eat the fish because I really couldn't handle cleaning a fish! I would have to offer a filet-o-fish at McDonalds.
Fishing can be swapped out with a bunch of different things. You know, its not really so much about what Dad knows how to do. It really isn't about what I am good at or what I am horrible at, but the real definition of being a great Dad (in my opinion) is that he is always willing to talk and always willing to listen to what his son or daughter has to say and it doesn't matter what you are talking about. It can be discussing why the sky is blue or why a boy or girl won't pay attention to them. My goal isn't to be the smartest guy or to be the most capable guy in the wilderness. If my child knows I am there for them, I succeeded. If my child knows that I will do everything I can to help them when the doo-hickey thing in their car breaks, I succeeded. I may not be able to fix the doo-hickey (in fact, I can just about guarantee I won't be able to fix it) but I will take the time to stand there with them and stare at the car and talk about our options.
Ultimately, the moment my son or daughter realizes all of the above when they are looking at having a kid of their own, I will have succeeded. I guess, when all is said and done and our child is moved on and looking at having their own kid(s), I want them to be an awesome Mom or Dad. Its strange, I guess my goal is to ensure my grandchildren have the best parents they could imagine, even with all the quirks and flaws.
I would like to say Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there that are making a difference in their kids' lives and who are there for their kids when they need them. You guys are doing the best you can and that is all your son or daughter wants from you. Listen when they want to talk and tell them you love them because it will make all the difference when your kids are grown and raising their own kids.
Stay classy.......blog readers.
