Fathers Day thoughts by a wanna-be father

Well, its Fathers Day.  Its actually Fathers Day night at this point so I will call it Fathers Night.

I spent some time with family today and I really enjoyed our conversation and our catching up on life.  Our conversation covered a many things like jobs, new pets and everyday life.  At one point in our talking, the adoption topic came up and we talked about where we were in the process and how it was going.  We talked about things that Becky and I have talked about regarding the adoption process and we talked about how awesome it will be if we end up with a baby.  While talking about raising a child, I brought up my lack of mechanical, landscaping, fishing and/or hunting skills.  I joked about how the kid might need to contact a relative or a neighbor if he or she wanted to learn about building things or fixing things.

Phil from Modern Family (Awesome Dad)

On my way home I thought more about who I am, what I am good at and what I can teach a son or daughter.  I realized, or I should say I more clearly realized, that not all Dads are great mechanics and being a master builder isn't a requirement of being "father of the year" in any book I have ever read.  In truth I haven't really read any books on "father of the year" requirements.  I don't think that book exists.  No one has written that book because every Dad brings something different to the table.  Every Dad is as unique as the child he is raising.  Every Dad was once a kid and its his life experiences that have molded him into the man he ends up being.

Our son or daughter is probably not going to get a ton of exposure to fishing.  I will certainly take them out and give them an introduction to the sport.  I will try to act like I know what I am doing as I make strange faces because I don't like touching worms.  I will try as hard as I can to not stick a hook in my hand.  Ideally, we catch something and I can hope that he/she will think our fish is the coolest thing ever.  I can also hope that he/she doesn't want to eat the fish because I really couldn't handle cleaning a fish!  I would have to offer a filet-o-fish at McDonalds.

Fishing can be swapped out with a bunch of different things.  You know, its not really so much about what Dad knows how to do.  It really isn't about what I am good at or what I am horrible at, but the real definition of being a great Dad (in my opinion) is that he is always willing to talk and always willing to listen to what his son or daughter has to say and it doesn't matter what you are talking about.  It can be discussing why the sky is blue or why a boy or girl won't pay attention to them.  My goal isn't to be the smartest guy or to be the most capable guy in the wilderness.  If my child knows I am there for them, I succeeded.  If my child knows that I will do everything I can to help them when the doo-hickey thing in their car breaks, I succeeded.  I may not be able to fix the doo-hickey (in fact, I can just about guarantee I won't be able to fix it) but I will take the time to stand there with them and stare at the car and talk about our options.

Ultimately, the moment my son or daughter realizes all of the above when they are looking at having a kid of their own, I will have succeeded.  I guess, when all is said and done and our child is moved on and looking at having their own kid(s), I want them to be an awesome Mom or Dad.  Its strange, I guess my goal is to ensure my grandchildren have the best parents they could imagine, even with all the quirks and flaws.

I would like to say Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there that are making a difference in their kids' lives and who are there for their kids when they need them.  You guys are doing the best you can and that is all your son or daughter wants from you.  Listen when they want to talk and tell them you love them because it will make all the difference when your kids are grown and raising their own kids.

Stay classy.......blog readers.



 

Puzzle Update and Intake Meeting!

Hello again!

It's Becky writing this time and just wanted to give you an update on our progress with the puzzle and adoption!  

The Puzzle

As you can see below in the two weeks since we've had our puzzle fundraiser go live we've had a great amount of support!  THANK YOU to everyone who has donated!  It has been amazing!  Justin and I are so grateful and your generosity will always be remembered!  So THANK YOU!

The Intake Meeting
Last night Justin and I met with an adoptive parent counselor.  Her name was Liz and she was very sweet, very informative and very receptive to my incessant story telling (I can't help it...have you ever met my Dad? It's in MY DNA) and question asking.

I guess going into the meeting  Justin and I thought "Well here we go...we sent in a registration fee and now we'll get the paperwork for the home study (aka adoption study) and away we go!"

We were partly right...we did leave with the home study paperwork (which by the way is no small undertaking!) but the meeting was a more in depth and personal informational session.  Don't get us wrong we found it very helpful and it answered  our questions we had but we thought we were "in" or clients.  Turns out there is a bit more paperwork and an agreement to sign off on before we are legit!  As we are going through this process, and not having a lot of friends or family that have pursued adoption,  we are finding out you "don't know what you don't know" until you are in it.

So the next step would be to send in the agreement and set up dates for the home study meetings.  The home study will consist of three meetings: two at the adoption agency and one at our home.  Also during this time, before we go into what is known infamously as "The Book" we need to attend two workshops.  They are only offered every 2-3 months and the next meetings of course fall during dates that I am: out of state at camp, the night before camp starts, or the day in between my two sessions of camp.  Nothing every comes easy, does it? :)

Background checks are in the mix as well as physical.

After the workshops there is also a series of trainings we have to attend: Adoption Plan, Working With Birth Parents, Creating Your Letter.  I would tell you more but that is all the detail we got.  

At some point we also come up with a photo album to put with our Birth Parent Letter and bring it to the office.

After that is completed, we go into drum roll please..THE BOOK! 

And then!  

we wait 

Liz told us after the completion of the above steps, it usually takes about 3 months, the average wait is about 20 months or 3 years.  Liz did tell us she had one couple that was matched after one day but on the other hand she had a couple matched after 5 1/2 years.  We would like to sign up for the "one day" option! :)

All joking aside we know it will be a long process but in the end will be worth every day we have to wait.

I will close with a poem sent to Justin and I from one of our puzzle sponsors, Piper Sagan.  I met Piper at camp when she was 8 years old and was able to see her grow up over the years.  Thank you again Piper for your donation and for your sweet words!

For Dreams come true

For Happy years to come

To the struggle

To the beginning 

For you both

Forever