Mission Completed (and then some)!

Hello all!

As you can see above the puzzle is complete! (Well, minus the obvious missing piece and you may notice the two pieces that are a bit distorted due to our sweet Springer Spaniel Riley!) 

Regardless, Justin and I are completely floored by the love, support and response to our fundraiser.  And even though we have completed the puzzle people are still making donations! 

We really are without words (and I know for me that is a rare occurrence)!

THANK YOU for helping us "Dream Big!"

We think we can, we think we can...

Hello blog readers!

Just wanted to give you a quick update on the Puzzle Fundraiser! Justin and I are blown away by the generosity, love and support we have received from family, friends and even complete strangers!  

To be honest, we had no idea how well (or how ...not well?) this puzzle fundraiser would turn out.  

Justin and I both like to do things on our own (really just ask Justin about the wooden "stand" he built for a mini fridge...let's just say the fridge is back on the ground where it has a much more stable and flat surface to reside on) but seriously we really try to be "do-it-our-selfers" ok minus car repairs (that's what little brothers are for) or plumbing projects ...do you know exactly how much a gallon toilet tank will spill out onto your floor if it isn't properly sealed?  

So yes, we all need a little help but when it comes to something as personal as a child we both, in our own ways, felt it was very much our responsibility to make this happen. This adoption is something we are pursuing,  we want to grow our family, something that we are so incredibly excited to start and something we hope to have someday soon.  

With every puzzle piece purchased we are reminded it has always been more than just us.

So incredibly grateful to you all! Thank you!
Becky and Justin

Update: We're halfway there!

Hello all!
So we are at the halfway point!  Actually, we are 1/2 a piece OVER the halfway point because 513 divided in half is 256.5 and don't you round up when it's .5 , anyway?

Justin and I clearly did not go to school for mathematics nor did we pass puppy obedience classes with our dog, Riley. 

 Riley has now sponsored a total of three pieces...two pieces survived (somewhat) and one is missing all together. One of the pieces is exactly in the center of the puzzle, guess she was just making her claim!

Thank you again to everyone who has supported us!  
Becky (and Justin too!)

Puzzle update from last week (June 25th)

Sorry for the delayed photo update!  

A camp named Sioux

Hello all!

I know, I know, I know...Justin and I will not be receiving any awards for our lack of blogging.

Now, in Justin's defense he did blog while I was at Camp Sioux in North Dakota (an excellent blog post by the way and if you haven't read it you can check it out at Fathers Day thoughts by a wanna-be father.)

 So as mentioned above, I recently spent time overseeing the diabetes camp program in North Dakota. The camp's name is ADA Camp Sioux, and for those of you who might not know about it here is a little background.  Camp Sioux is a residential camp for kids ages 8-15 living with diabetes.  Most of the kids come from North Dakota, NW Minnesota and we even have campers sometimes from far away and exotic lands...like Montana. :)

This was my ninth year as Camp Director at Camp Sioux and if you want the textbook definition to what I do, it would be: To ensure that all campers have a safe and fun camping experience, start to gain independence from their families in their diabetes management and meet other children with diabetes. 

Now when I first met Justin and told him about my job he had this vision of me prancing around with a tye dye shirt on, burning incense and playing guitar...I will admit I have donned tye dye apparel, no incense burning - that could be a potential fire hazard and I WISH I knew how to play guitar but my lack of reading notes is made up in my loud, out of tune, belting of camp songs.  I have also been known to unclog toilets, dress up to distract homesick campers, come up with games like "Banana Olympics" or "Sasquatch Hunt" and DJ a dance or two!

For those of you that are Facebook friends with me you might recall this post after my return home from this year's venture:  Two weeks of the worst infestation of mosquitoes I have experienced (still have remnants of bites on my body including my face!), shower and sleep deprivation, sporting a constant aroma of bug spray and sun screen, rain, humidity, and wood ticks... and I would do it all again in a heartbeat!

And I would...I love camp.  It re-grounds you, it makes you appreciate the simple things in life, it shows you beauty in so many ways, at times it requires hard work but it also reminds you to laugh and to play, it requires you to listen carefully, it teaches and reinforces respect, trust and love and it is a support system like no other.

All these things I believe in, all these things I practice and all these things I hope to share with a son or daughter someday.

Happy Trails!
Becky
 

Fathers Day thoughts by a wanna-be father

Well, its Fathers Day.  Its actually Fathers Day night at this point so I will call it Fathers Night.

I spent some time with family today and I really enjoyed our conversation and our catching up on life.  Our conversation covered a many things like jobs, new pets and everyday life.  At one point in our talking, the adoption topic came up and we talked about where we were in the process and how it was going.  We talked about things that Becky and I have talked about regarding the adoption process and we talked about how awesome it will be if we end up with a baby.  While talking about raising a child, I brought up my lack of mechanical, landscaping, fishing and/or hunting skills.  I joked about how the kid might need to contact a relative or a neighbor if he or she wanted to learn about building things or fixing things.

Phil from Modern Family (Awesome Dad)

On my way home I thought more about who I am, what I am good at and what I can teach a son or daughter.  I realized, or I should say I more clearly realized, that not all Dads are great mechanics and being a master builder isn't a requirement of being "father of the year" in any book I have ever read.  In truth I haven't really read any books on "father of the year" requirements.  I don't think that book exists.  No one has written that book because every Dad brings something different to the table.  Every Dad is as unique as the child he is raising.  Every Dad was once a kid and its his life experiences that have molded him into the man he ends up being.

Our son or daughter is probably not going to get a ton of exposure to fishing.  I will certainly take them out and give them an introduction to the sport.  I will try to act like I know what I am doing as I make strange faces because I don't like touching worms.  I will try as hard as I can to not stick a hook in my hand.  Ideally, we catch something and I can hope that he/she will think our fish is the coolest thing ever.  I can also hope that he/she doesn't want to eat the fish because I really couldn't handle cleaning a fish!  I would have to offer a filet-o-fish at McDonalds.

Fishing can be swapped out with a bunch of different things.  You know, its not really so much about what Dad knows how to do.  It really isn't about what I am good at or what I am horrible at, but the real definition of being a great Dad (in my opinion) is that he is always willing to talk and always willing to listen to what his son or daughter has to say and it doesn't matter what you are talking about.  It can be discussing why the sky is blue or why a boy or girl won't pay attention to them.  My goal isn't to be the smartest guy or to be the most capable guy in the wilderness.  If my child knows I am there for them, I succeeded.  If my child knows that I will do everything I can to help them when the doo-hickey thing in their car breaks, I succeeded.  I may not be able to fix the doo-hickey (in fact, I can just about guarantee I won't be able to fix it) but I will take the time to stand there with them and stare at the car and talk about our options.

Ultimately, the moment my son or daughter realizes all of the above when they are looking at having a kid of their own, I will have succeeded.  I guess, when all is said and done and our child is moved on and looking at having their own kid(s), I want them to be an awesome Mom or Dad.  Its strange, I guess my goal is to ensure my grandchildren have the best parents they could imagine, even with all the quirks and flaws.

I would like to say Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there that are making a difference in their kids' lives and who are there for their kids when they need them.  You guys are doing the best you can and that is all your son or daughter wants from you.  Listen when they want to talk and tell them you love them because it will make all the difference when your kids are grown and raising their own kids.

Stay classy.......blog readers.



 

Puzzle Update and Intake Meeting!

Hello again!

It's Becky writing this time and just wanted to give you an update on our progress with the puzzle and adoption!  

The Puzzle

As you can see below in the two weeks since we've had our puzzle fundraiser go live we've had a great amount of support!  THANK YOU to everyone who has donated!  It has been amazing!  Justin and I are so grateful and your generosity will always be remembered!  So THANK YOU!

The Intake Meeting
Last night Justin and I met with an adoptive parent counselor.  Her name was Liz and she was very sweet, very informative and very receptive to my incessant story telling (I can't help it...have you ever met my Dad? It's in MY DNA) and question asking.

I guess going into the meeting  Justin and I thought "Well here we go...we sent in a registration fee and now we'll get the paperwork for the home study (aka adoption study) and away we go!"

We were partly right...we did leave with the home study paperwork (which by the way is no small undertaking!) but the meeting was a more in depth and personal informational session.  Don't get us wrong we found it very helpful and it answered  our questions we had but we thought we were "in" or clients.  Turns out there is a bit more paperwork and an agreement to sign off on before we are legit!  As we are going through this process, and not having a lot of friends or family that have pursued adoption,  we are finding out you "don't know what you don't know" until you are in it.

So the next step would be to send in the agreement and set up dates for the home study meetings.  The home study will consist of three meetings: two at the adoption agency and one at our home.  Also during this time, before we go into what is known infamously as "The Book" we need to attend two workshops.  They are only offered every 2-3 months and the next meetings of course fall during dates that I am: out of state at camp, the night before camp starts, or the day in between my two sessions of camp.  Nothing every comes easy, does it? :)

Background checks are in the mix as well as physical.

After the workshops there is also a series of trainings we have to attend: Adoption Plan, Working With Birth Parents, Creating Your Letter.  I would tell you more but that is all the detail we got.  

At some point we also come up with a photo album to put with our Birth Parent Letter and bring it to the office.

After that is completed, we go into drum roll please..THE BOOK! 

And then!  

we wait 

Liz told us after the completion of the above steps, it usually takes about 3 months, the average wait is about 20 months or 3 years.  Liz did tell us she had one couple that was matched after one day but on the other hand she had a couple matched after 5 1/2 years.  We would like to sign up for the "one day" option! :)

All joking aside we know it will be a long process but in the end will be worth every day we have to wait.

I will close with a poem sent to Justin and I from one of our puzzle sponsors, Piper Sagan.  I met Piper at camp when she was 8 years old and was able to see her grow up over the years.  Thank you again Piper for your donation and for your sweet words!

For Dreams come true

For Happy years to come

To the struggle

To the beginning 

For you both

Forever

Piece by piece...

Hello again!

So last Tuesday, Justin and I went "live" with our Puzzle Fundraiser!  And we apologize we didn't do it last week but this is puzzle:

As you can see, it has 513 pieces. Well you probably can't actually count them all from this vantage point but trust us all 513 pieces are there! :)

I won't go into all the details here , you can go to the fundraising website to read more, but the plan is simple.  If you would like to help us with the financial aspect of our adoption (and we can definately use the help) you can sponsor a piece of the puzzle.

                                                      1 PIECE =$15

Feel free to sponsor as many as you would like!  2 pieces for $30, or 3 pieces for $45 or 19 pieces for $285...you get the idea! 

For every piece you sponsor, we will put your name on the back of that piece, as the pieces are purchased we will be assembling the puzzle.  Watch the blog for updates on how far we have come on the puzzle.

Once the puzzle is complete we are going to display it in a double sided glass frame.  We wil  hang this in the baby's room.  When our child is old enough they will be able to see who helped bring them home!

You can click on the "widget" to the right of the blog to fread more or to participate!

Here is our first update! 
THANK YOU to all who have donated so far! It is greatly appreciated!

Who does Justin think he is!!! See my bio-post for more on that.

Hi Everybody!

Well, its my turn to scratch out a bio-post.  Becky did a really nice job with hers and hopefully I can come close to that standard.

I am Justin and I am 35 years old.  I was born in Dayton, Ohio and spent most of my childhood between Ohio and North Dakota.  We moved back and forth a couple times.  Actually, we moved a lot in between the big moves.  I became very good at making new friends and starting over.  At the time I hated moving so much and I would have given my left arm to live in one neighborhood all through school.  In the end, well not the END but as of today, it was probably good for me.  I am told I am very easy to get along with and I kind of pride myself on that.  I am very easy-going.  I would say that it was the moves that made me good at fitting in and finding my niche.

I am very lucky to have a large, if not a bit disjointed, family.  I have a mother and sister that live in North Dakota.  I have a step-mom and three more siblings that live a couple of hours away in central Minnesota.  My dad and his current wife live about an hour and a half away, just north of the twin cities.  I have been through some family stress like everyone else but in the end I am a pretty fortunate guy.  I have a lot of people that care about me and care about my happiness.  Also, it goes without saying, I also have a bunch of people that really want a grandchild/niece(nephew) to spoil.  : )

I have lived in Minnesota since 1992.  I went to high school in a small suburban town.  I played some sports in high school and I got decent grades (B/C).  The most important thing I did in high school though was bond with a group of guys that I still have the honor of calling my best friends today, all these years later.  I have had the same best friends for 20 years and I think that is the coolest thing ever.  We are very lucky to still have each other.

Once out of high school I went off to a community college for two years and earned my associate degree.  I wanted to be a cop (little did I know how long of a road I was starting down!).  I completed my degree and I was still unsure about where I wanted to go and what facet of law enforcement I wanted to work in so I spent a couple of years doing various security gigs.  Eventually, I landed a security job at Mall of America.  I met some great people there and in fact I added two more guys to my list of long-time friends.  I learned a lot and fooled around with school in an effort to finish my bachelors, which I didn't finish at that time.  In 2006 I was hired on as a corrections officer at a county jail.  I spent six years there and while there I finished my bachelors degree and completed the requirements to become a licensed peace officer.  In 2013 I was hired as a deputy sheriff.  I applied, tested and interviewed for three years before I finally got the job I had wanted since I was 18.  It was a REALLY long road.  It lasted a month.  Seriously, I spent one month in training with a law enforcement agency only to find out that was not what I wanted to do.  I decided to get out of the field before I got comfortable.  I knew if I stayed, I would have gotten lazy about job searching.  I didn't want to have a job I hated for 25 years.  Now, I work in corporate security with a large company in the twin cities.  The schedule is very nice and the opportunities to advance and move up are abundant.  I have finally settled down in regards to my career choice.

Now, lets get to the important stuff.  I met Becky in 2006 using Match.com.  I had a ton of girls I was seeing at the time (nope, I am outright lying to you, I dated a few girls...like 2 actually) before I met the coolest girl ever.  Becky and I had profiles that didn't really mesh that well and honestly, prior to our first date, I was pretty sure this wasn't going anywhere.  Well, here we are in 2013 and we have been married for almost 5 years!  The nice thing about our relationship is that we are both easy-going people.  We don't get wound up over the petty things in relationships.  I dislike vegetables and she dislikes casseroles.  She dislikes hard rock and I absolutely hate 80's music.  She likes to keep all of her clothes on the floor in assorted piles and I like to be able to walk on carpet, not piles of shirts.  You get it.  Ever since we got involved in a serious relationship we have talked about family and what it means to us.  We may have not agreed on the number of kids we wanted (five is very excessive) but we always talked about starting a family and raising happy, mostly well-adjusted kids.  We always felt like between the two of us our kids would get exposure to a lot of different things and different people.  We were so excited to get started.  As it turns out we hit some road blocks.  We found ourselves facing a decision of either not having a child or adopting a child.  We absolutely wanted to be parents and quite frankly, we felt like we would be pretty awesome parents.  Adoption was new to both of us but the more we looked into it and the more we talked to people, the more we realized it was a perfect solution for us.  We can help another family while building our own.

If all goes well, someone will see our profile and know in their hearts that we are the right people to entrust with their most precious gift.  We have wanted an opportunity to be parents for so long and while it has been an emotionally taxing journey, we are better for it and we are ready for anything!  My Batman stuff may be kind of nerdy, I don't know how to really build or fix anything and I am not an outdoorsman but I am ready to tackle being a father and aside from my quirks and hobbies, I think I could be a pretty cool dad (if nothing else the kid will get a good dose of learning how to break stuff you are supposed to be fixing).


Thanks for reading and as always......stay classy, blog readers.

JB


 

Be a part of the dream!

Here's the link to our Puzzle Fundraiser if you are interested in helping!

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/dream-big-/60521

I'm just a girl...

Hello all!
It's Becky! I decided to give Justin a break from blogging and take this opportunity to tell you a little bit more about me.  And for those that know me well, they know I love to talk and I love to tell a good story. I will try to keep this short (but feel free to print this off and read at your leisure :).

I grew up in the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities.  Being the oldest of four kids ( I have a younger sister Andrea and two younger brothers Chip and Tim) I was a natural born leader and delegator ("That's right, Mom said you were suppose to wash dishes, not me." :)  Despite the normal sibling rivalry we are all still very close, perhaps having one bathroom for six people enforced that, but I can say I truly enjoy spending time with my family.  

My mom and dad, married almost 40 years, had a tremendous influence on me as a child and still do to this day.  Not only can I thank my parents for the family uni-brow (okay that's just my dad) but they passed onto me their sense of humor, gift of gab and the importance of treating  people with compassion and respect.

As a kid I enjoyed playing Barbies, riding my bike , playing school, reading and going to the family cabin where I could work on my tan.  Also, I was bound and determined to become a published author by age 13... and so I would write story after story after story. My great novel has yet to be written though.

I played the flute for a couple of years and was horrible at it. Played volleyball and fast pitch softball through junior high and high school. And I went to camp, the one I now run, for a week every summer.

During high school and into college I worked at Discovery Zone.  (An indoor fun center for children ages 2-12 that offered hand eye coordination games, tubes, slides, ball bins, and more!) I worked there as much as I could so I could afford the finer things in life...like my first car, a 1985 Plymouth Reliant.  Best $500 I ever spent!

I graduated high school in 1995 and in 1999 earned a BA in Communication from the College of St. Benedict/St. John's University.  I had planned on going to college to become an Elementary School Teacher (which still crosses my mind from time to time) but everyone and their sister was going for that degree and Communication seemed a perfect fit- you got to talk all the time! (No worries though I can listen too!)  In college I did dabble a bit in stand up comedy but I hung that up years ago- I just didn't want all the fame, the fortune and the jet setting lifestyle. Besides who wants the paparazzi following them around ALL the time :)

So after college I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  And so I spent a year doing odd jobs-everything from maintenance at Caterpillar Paving Products for a few months (I  must admit I rocked the steel tipped boots), to working at an advertising agency to being a Production Manager at Spooky World.  Yes, you read right Spooky World.  Sadly, it's no longer in existence but back then you could find me driving around on a golf cart managing the haunted houses and the haunted hayride. 

For the last 13 years I have been working for the American Diabetes Association where I work with youth programs. The biggest part of my job is being a Camp Director where I spend four weeks out of the summer running camps for kids ages 5-16.  It's one of the most challenging yet greatest jobs I can imagine.

Some other things about me:

Things I love:
Kids. I love how they remind you how to see things as if it's for the first time, to have fun, to play
The sound of laughter
The smell of a campfire
"Hole-in-the-wall" restaurants
Foods that you can dip (I love me some dipping sauces!)
Sitting in the sun reading
Going to my parents cabin
Camping and canoeing (when I get the chance!)
Being in the outdoors- it re-grounds you and makes you appreciate the small things in life 

Things I dislike:
Mice
Carrots
Diet Pepsi
Parallel parking

And as for the future:
Since I was about eleven I always planned on having five kids.  I just assumed this would happen...ok maybe having five kids was a bit out there but at least four! Almost every job or volunteer position I have held in some way has involved working with kids.  So to be honest, I can't imagine not raising a child. I can tell you, if I were presented with the opportunity to become someone's mom, I would spend the rest of my life proving my worthiness.

Thanks for reading!
Becky 
      

Lift off!!!!

Good evening,

As we posted previously, we went to the adoption agency informational meeting last night (Monday).  We walked in and honestly I thought we might be in for trouble.  The room was the size of a small dining room with an actual dining room table in the center.  It was stuffy and warm and the meeting hadn't even started yet!  Anyone that knows Becky and I know that we hate stuffy humidity and it was real stuffy in there.  The office was nicely furnished but small.  It had a very intimate feel to it.  The lady that greeted us was very nice and she pointed out the cookies and beverages available for the taking.  I kept an eye on the cookies as I walked by but I was able to resist the temptation.  We were the third couple to sit down (on the real wooden dining room chairs, just like every one's parents have).  The other couples were nice and we traded some small talk.  When it was all said and done, there were four couples, one single gal and one single guy.  Oh, also, one of the other couples felt cold so they felt free to turn the fan that was pointed at the table the other direction.  I loved that.... 

The meeting started with one of the ladies who runs the agency.  She is also one of two adoptive parent counselors/placement workers.  She was very nice and she spoke about her background and and the background of the agency.  She talked about the overall process and how adoption generally works.  She introduced the next speaker who was an adoption attorney.

The attorney was an older gal and she had kind of a "tell it like it is" vibe.  She seemed honest and sincere in what she said.  She explained the difference between the different types of adoption agencies and she gave us a list of pros and cons for each.  She also explained how the legal side of adoption works.  She told a couple of funny (I didn't really laugh because I am something of a comedy snob) stories about past adoptions she has been involved in.  I did extend the courtesy of a fake laugh as it would be obvious I wasn't laughing in such a small room.  Anyway, so attorney gal finished up and re-introduced original case worker gal.

She came back on the scene and went into the real juicy stuff like details of the process, the steps involved, the time it takes to do everything and finally, the price tag.  She explained that last year they placed 63 infants within the state and four percent of those were interrupted.  Interrupted means that after placement or close to placement, the birth mother decides to keep the baby.  While that would be a really tough situation for any couple waiting for that baby, four percent is actually pretty low.  She talked about the average time for placement which was 20 months.  20 months seems like a long time but in adoption speak, that ain't too shabby.  We have researched agencies that average closer to two and three years for placement!  Finally, she talked about the prices.  We were pleasantly surprised.  The average cost of their adoptions for an infant was about 20 thousand dollars.  So, original case worker gal finished up and introduced one of two gals that goes out and counsels and works with birth mothers.

Birth mother gal comes out and talks about the birth mothers and how they feel during the process.  She talked about all they do for the women and how much they make themselves available to the women for counseling or just questions.  She explained how the birth mothers select a couple and how the process wraps up with leaving the hospital after delivery.  By the way, almost all of the infants adopted are taken home directly from the hospital.  It is very rare that it happens otherwise, which is nice.

Birth mother gal finishes up and fields a few questions from the "chilly willies" in the corner who turned the fan away.  She gets into some more details on placement and talks about what it takes to start the process if we chose to do so.  No one turned in their application while we were there and we didn't either.

We left and drove the 45 minutes home.  We talked about how much we liked the people that spoke and how much we liked the small staff working there.  It is really nice that there are only a couple of people that handle all of the birth mothers.  It made us feel like they really get to know each mother and they really get to know each adoptive couple.  The tiny, stuffy dinning room didn't impress me.  The wooden chair that may or may not have wobbled a bit when I plopped down on it didn't please me.  My wife mentioning to me that the backs of her knees were really sweaty, didn't comfort me.  The fact that I was given the opportunity to enjoy a free cookie did please me.  Also, I forgot to mention I also enjoyed a cold Pepsi...on them!  Alright!

Anyway, to stop this twisty and sometimes irrelevant post, I will say that we have found our winner.  Ladies and gentlemen....we have submitted our initial application.  Step one is complete.

We have posted this before but we will never grow tired of saying thank you for your support and thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to read about ours.  The experience wouldn't be the same without the network of family and friends we count on every day for encouragement and positive energy.

Please keep checking our cute little blog.  We are going to keep posting.  Upcoming titles include "Who is Becky....really?" and "Justin's life,,,the cliff notes".

Stay classy.....blog readers.

Thanks again.

J & B

Its just a meeting, right?

Hi there,

Well, tomorrow night could be the first official step in this process.  We are going to an informational meeting with an adoption agency.  Ideally, it goes well and we feel comfortable with them.  If that is the case, we will be completing an application as soon as possible to get the ball rolling!  If they aren't a good fit, then we just find a different agency.  Either way, we will be good.  We are certainly willing to wait and do our research in an effort to find the best fit for us. 

So, while tomorrow night isn't monumental, it is kind of a big deal.  Wish us luck and we will post again on Tuesday with our thoughts.

Take care everyone and until Tuesday.....stay classy (thanks Ron Burgandy).

Sincerely,

J & B

Let the Adventure Begin!!!!

Hi!

We are Justin and Becky Barnett and we are starting the adoption process for the first time!  We aren't kidding, this is literally the start of our process.  We are going to a meeting on Monday, May 13th to check out an adoption agency and with any luck we will be coming home to complete an agency application to get started toward our home study.  We are very excited to finally be able to say we are starting the process! 

We have decided to put a few things in motion in an effort to keep our friends and family in the loop.  We are creating a facebook page which will have pictures and more about Becky and I.  We are also going to be keeping up on this blog with updates and reflections on this exciting process.  Finally, we are going to be introducing our friends and family, and anyone else interested in our story, to a website which will provide an opportunity for folks to help us with the deep financial commitment the adoption process involves.

We will post links and websites once we take them live but for now, please send us all the positive thoughts and good luck you can afford.  We are very happy that this opportunity is finally becoming a reality and we are very excited to share it with you.

Sincerely,

Justin and Becky